1. PeePee TeePee

I’m having a girl, so bear with me. Apparently, this is a little cone shaped…TeePee…to cover your baby boy’s…PeePee…during diaper changes. To avoid the whole golden shower experience. First of all, you have to actually remember to use it. At 3am on 26 minutes of uninterrupted sleep, I just don’t see it happening. Also – have you ever seen a baby lie perfectly still during diaper changes? Because I haven’t. Those little buggers squirm like the dickens. How in the world would it stay on? Judging from the reviews, the answer is that it doesn’t.

Plus, if you’re anything like me and actually bought these things, the ONE time I didn’t use it or it fell off would result in a urine spray of epic proportions that would cover me, the wall, the table, etc. Why not just lay a burp cloth or diaper over your baby’s privates for those couple seconds? Problem solved.

2. High Heels….for Babies!?

So, I get that babies in “adult” clothing can be stinkin’ cute. Like is there anything cuter than a little boy in a tuxedo? Don’t think so.

Something about these though makes me feel icky. They are for 0-6 months – not little girls playing dress-up. Why was such a product created!? For laughs? I’m not sure if I find a baby dressed as a streetwalker amusing. Just get your baby girl some cute booties – say no to baby heels!

3. Wipes Warmer

Some of you may disagree with me on this one. I mean, I see the appeal. I imagine a warm wipe on your baby’s bum would feel quite nice. There’s only one problem – these things are a serious fire hazard. Would you like a warm wipe…or to keep your house intact? Hopefully, that one is a no brainer.

4. Baby Mop

Now that your little one has started to crawl, put that freeloader to work with The Baby Mop! This product started out as a joke, but is now available for sale. No lie. No, just…no.

5. Upright Baby Bath Tub

Umm. It is just a bucket. If you’re really dead-set on bathing your kid in a bucket, get thee to Home Depot and save $40!

Jennifer and her husband, Robert, live in Tidewater, Virginia, and expect their bundle of joy to arrive in November 2013. (Check out her baby guessing game - you could win $100!) Besides expounding on the amazing/scary/life-changing topic of pregnancy, Jennifer is the full-time blogger behind Not Your Momma’s Cookie, where she tries to make cool treats and frequently shares embarrassing stories. 

I think thank-you notes are important — I really do. In this age of e-greeting, e-viting and e-RSVPing, little folded notes of gratitude are one of the few paper pleasures we can still look forward to finding among piles of junkmail. It’s just hard to sit your round self down and actually write them — let alone address them, stamp them and send them. Trust me, I know.

Fortunately, there are tons of cute cards out there specifically designed for thanking friends and family for baby gifts, which makes the process a bit more exciting. I’ve rounded up 10 of them:

1. Duck Baby Animal Thank You Notes by William Arthur, sold at Barnes & Noble; $15.95 for 10 (They also have bunny and whale ones.)
2. 3-D Handmade Baby Carriage Thank You Cards from zuCards on Etsy; $16 for 10 (The seller is willing to customize the colors of the cardstock or the carriage, or even change the wording.)
3. Animal Alphabet Thank You Cards from Target; $9.99 for 50 (These are the best value, so naturally they’re the ones I have.)
4. Cartouche Initial Folded Stationery in blue, green or pink from Hallmark; $0.99 to $1.99 per card, depending on quantity (Personalize the letter on the front, the message on the inside, and even the back.)
5. Heart Thank You Cards from SierraPurvisDesigns on Etsy; $10 for printable digital file (Colors, fonts, layout or size can be changed.)
6. Little One’s Clothesline Baby Shower Thank You Cards from deanpennandpaper on Etsy; $18 for 10 (Change “thank you” to the baby’s name if you’d like, and pick from 21 envelope colors.)
7. Retro Blue Baby Room Thank You Cards from Rossomer Square Fine Papers; $10 for 10 (The cute crib design is printed on the back as well.)
8. Modern Mommy Thank You Notes from Party City; $3.99 for 8 (These come with matching envelope-seal stickers too.)
9. Oh Baby Thank You Notes from Paper Source; $11.50 for 10 (Both the notecards and coordinating coral envelopes are recycled.)
10. Striped Appreciation Personalized Baby Thank You Notes from Pear Tree Greetings; $0.80 to $1.72 each, depending on quantity (Add your little one’s name to the bottom. Also available in aqua.)

Now if you’ll please excuse me, I’d better get back to my note-writing.

Mollee and her husband, Matt, live in Midlothian, Virginia, and are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first baby (a girl!) in May 2013 any minute now. (Check out her baby guessing game here.) Although she helps pay the bills by doing graphic design, Mollee’s true passion is for making things with her hands. Find more of her recipes, paintings and crafts at molleemade.com.

As I sit here with my giant belly, just six weeks away from my due date, I feel like I’m in a unique place. I’m starting to learn the parenting lingo, and I guess I’m technically a mother already, but I can also still relate to my childless friends. I know that motherhood is going to change me in many mostly wonderful ways, but I don’t want to completely lose sight of my old self either. If I were to run into the Old Mollee at the grocery store one day with the baby in tow, I’d want her to be proud of me.

So here are some promises I would like to make to her:

1. I promise to put on real clothes and at least a little makeup when I’m leaving the house.
2. I’ll keep up with current events and pop culture so I can carry on adult conversations.
3. I won’t give my child’s age in numbers of weeks or months that require people to do higher-level math.
4. I know I’ll think my daughter is brilliant and hilarious, but other people will just think she drools a lot. I’ll be okay with that.
5.  I promise that not every single one of my social media updates will be about the baby.
6. If she won’t stop screaming in a public place, I promise I’ll take her to the car.
7. I realize that our stroller is almost as large as some smart cars. I’ll try to keep it out of the way.
8. I know my child won’t be the first to ever get sick or injured or upset, and I’ll try not to act like she is.
9. I’ll accept the advice and help of others graciously, but I’ll try not to give unwanted parenting advice myself.
10. I won’t forget my friends, my pets, my personal interests and most importantly, my husband.
11. I’ll laugh at myself along with all the other mothers when I break every single one of these promises at least once. And I promise to try harder next time.

Mollee and her husband, Matt, live in Midlothian, Virginia, and are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first baby (a girl!) in May 2013. (Check out her baby guessing game here.) Although she helps pay the bills by doing graphic design, Mollee’s true passion is for making things with her hands. Find more of her recipes, paintings and crafts at molleemade.com.